After weaning – what next?

Eventually, every breastfeeding relationship comes to an end. Every child stops breastfeeding, and every exclusively pumping mother eventually stops expressing. This article looks at what stopping can feel like emotionally and physically, and how your relationship with your child continues afterwards.

Summary

• Weaning (ending breastfeeding) may be led by you, your child, or both together
• Weaning can bring sadness, relief, pride, uncertainty, or a mixture of emotions
• If breastfeeding or expressing ends earlier than you hoped, support is available
• Hormonal changes during and after weaning can temporarily affect mood
• Closeness continues after breastfeeding ends

On this page

 

Will weaning happen?

Just as children stop crawling and babbling when they’re ready to walk and talk, they eventually outgrow breastfeeding too. Weaning is not something you need to actively encourage, unless you want to. 

Many families find it works well to follow their child’s lead. This often results in gradual, gentle weaning that you and your child may barely notice. You can continue breastfeeding while it is working well for both of you, and see how things develop. That may mean breastfeeding longer than you expected.

If you need to wean, for medical or other reasons, LLL Leaders can help.

 

When will my child wean?

The age of weaning varies a lot between children. Most children will breastfeed for at least two years if they are able to. Child-led weaning most commonly happens somewhere between two and four years, but it can happen earlier or later.

Children rarely wean suddenly or overnight, especially when they are under one year old (see our article on Nursing Strikes if you are concerned this is happening). When children are able to set the pace, weaning is usually gradual, with forwards and backwards steps along the way. It’s not uncommon for children to seem to be weaning, only to return to breastfeeding later — sometimes with renewed enthusiasm. A new baby, a big change such as starting preschool, or illness may temporarily increase breastfeeding again. 

‘The last breastfeed’ is not always a significant event. Sometimes weaning happens so gradually that you may not even notice when your child nurses for the last time. If recording your breastfeeding journey is important to you, you may want to take photos or videos before breastfeeding gradually comes to an end.

If you’re expressing your milk instead of directly breastfeeding, you will decide when you’re going to pump for the last time. This is also a significant milestone.

 

How will I feel when my child weans? 

When breastfeeding ends before you wanted

Sometimes, breastfeeding or health challenges mean that breastfeeding ends earlier than you hoped. Unwanted weaning can bring feelings such as anger, guilt, grief, or disappointment. LLL Leaders can listen and support you after breastfeeding or expressing has ended. You can find resources about breastfeeding grief below, in Further Reading.

 

Mixed feelings after weaning

Even when weaning happens more easily, it can bring surprisingly strong feelings. The emotional side of weaning isn’t talked about much, so you may wonder whether your feelings are normal. They almost always are. LLL group meetings can be a good place to talk about the emotions connected with breastfeeding and weaning.

You may feel a sense of loss and sorrow that your child’s early years are passing, especially if this is your last baby or your child weaned before you felt ready. Or you may feel huge relief. You might be delighted to stop wearing nursing bras or no longer be asked to nurse every time you sit down.

It’s normal to have a mixture of big feelings. When breastfeeding has been such a central part of nurturing your child, this new stage can feel uncertain, and may change how you think about yourself as a mother. If breastfeeding was something you fought hard for, it can feel surprisingly emotional to realise that this hard-won stage of life is becoming part of the past.

How weaning happens may affect your feelings more than your child’s age when breastfeeding ends.

“Mothers who wean gradually, or who feel that weaning happened at a time when both they and their child were ready, often feel peace and contentment when weaning is complete”.

– How weaning happens, Diane Bengson (La Leche League International, 2000), p. 137

 

What’s going on with my hormones? 

Weaning is a big adjustment for your body. It’s common to notice changes as your hormones settle down.

The hormones involved in breastfeeding – prolactin (the milk-making hormone) and oxytocin (sometimes called the ‘love hormone’) – contribute to feelings of calm, closeness, relaxation, and wellbeing. As breastfeeding ends, levels of these hormones fall, and this may affect your mood for a time.

Some mothers report feeling weepy or low, even if they feel at peace about weaning. Others experience anxiety, insomnia, anger, or mood swings. This can be similar to mood changes during your menstrual cycle, but more intense or longer lasting. It may be more common if you have experienced depression or anxiety before. Be gentle and patient with yourself while this lasts. 

If you have ongoing low mood or anxiety after the initial weeks, it may be helpful to talk to your GP.

Your breasts may still continue to produce small amounts of milk for some time after weaning. Some mothers still leak or can express drops of milk weeks or months later. Talk to your GP if your milk production does not gradually reduce over time.

 

Life after breastfeeding

How will I comfort my child without breastfeeding?

When breastfeeding has been an important part of how you comforted and cared for your child, it can be hard to imagine managing without it. You may wonder how you will settle your child at night, calm them when they are upset, or reconnect after a difficult day.

Over time, you will find that the closeness and understanding built through breastfeeding continue in other ways. The skills you developed while breastfeeding — noticing your child’s cues, responding to their emotions, and comforting them — do not disappear when breastfeeding ends.

 

Will my relationship with my child change after weaning?

Your child still needs closeness, comfort, touch, and connection after weaning. Cuddling, talking, playing, sharing baths, or simply spending time together can continue to nurture your relationship long after breastfeeding ends.

Many children continue to seek physical closeness in familiar ways after weaning. Some still like to cuddle against your breast or be held in breastfeeding positions when they are tired, upset, or needing reassurance.

 

Feeling proud after breastfeeding ends

Breastfeeding, or expressing milk for your child, is a unique act of love and care. You may want to mark the end of your breastfeeding relationship in a way that feels meaningful to you. Looking back at what breastfeeding gave you and your child can help shape this new stage of your relationship together.

 

Breastfeeding may have ended – but they still need you

As your child grows, your relationship will continue to change. Breastfeeding may have ended, but your child still needs comfort, connection, and reassurance from you.

Whether weaning felt gentle and gradual, or emotional and difficult, you can look back with pride on what breastfeeding, or providing your milk, meant for you and your child. The closeness and connection you built together can continue long after breastfeeding ends.

Written by Justine Fieth, LLL Cambridge, October 2020.

Thanks to Ginnie Sullivan and the Leaders of LLL Cambridge for their help writing this.

Updated by Justine Fieth and Jayne Joyce, May 2026

Copyright LLLGB 2020, 2026

 

Further Reading 

From LLLGB

 

Other resources

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