By Rosella Picciuto, LLL Barnet
Today’s circle held such a wide and rich spectrum of experience — little ones ranging from three to 20 months, solo mothers, mothers with older children at home, and many different stages represented. It felt grounding to witness how varied – yet deeply connected – our experiences are.
A strong theme was returning to work and the anxiety that often accompanies big changes for breastfeeding mothers. We spoke about how deeply we are biologically wired to care for our babies. Imagining their time without us, anticipating the distress our absence might cause – whether returning part-time or full-time – can feel daunting and emotionally charged. It’s often an emotional ride before it’s a practical one.
We explored the logistics of exclusively breastfeeding (EBF) alongside work. A few mothers are planning three nursery days per week. Another reflected on how stressful pumping became for her – and how, in the end, her little one did just fine without it. It was a gentle reminder that there are many paths through this season.
We discussed introducing bottles later on – and that some families skip bottles entirely and introduce a cup instead. So much depends on how established solids are and where your baby is developmentally. Between six and twelve months, milk remains a central source of nourishment, and it’s important to extend some grace if your child still heavily relies on it.
We also acknowledged how rapidly babies change. Two to four months can bring radical growth and development – you can feel you have a different child in that time. It’s often impossible to fully predict how they’ll adjust, and transitions frequently unfold more smoothly than we anticipate.
There was space for the very real concern many mothers hold: when we are the primary caregivers, we know our babies so intimately. Trusting others with their care can feel vulnerable. One mother shared how pleasantly surprised she was by the knowledge and attunement of nursery staff. Checking in, asking questions, and seeking reassurance can help – not only for your baby, but for your own nervous system.
We touched on “reverse cycling” – when babies take more of their milk feeds at night, when you’re together. Many breastfed babies naturally make up for time apart in this way. Feeding more frequently after a day apart is common and normal.
Some babies may initially refuse milk unless it’s directly from the breast, but many adapt to the predictable rhythm of nursery life – play, snack, nap, home – and settle into that structure over time.
One mother is preparing her baby for nursery by planning an evening out with her partner, allowing a grandparent to manage bedtime. There was a shared sense of letting go of some of the anxiety and trusting the experience. The baby may play longer and sleep later, but the eventuality is usually this: everyone survives. And we’ll benefit from carving out time to enjoy ourselves.
There was so much tenderness and honesty in the room today. Transitions can feel huge – but we are not alone in them. Thank you to everyone who shared so open-heartedly.